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Growth5 min readNov 28, 2025

The Art of Self-Compassion: Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic

Shelja Ghai

Shelja Ghai

M.A. Counseling Psychology

If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, you probably wouldn't have many friends left. Yet we accept this harsh inner critic as normal.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a good friend. It's not about letting yourself off the hook — it's about acknowledging your humanity.

The Three Components

Dr. Kristin Neff identifies three key elements:

  • Self-kindness: Being warm to yourself instead of harshly critical
  • Common humanity: Recognizing that suffering and imperfection are shared human experiences
  • Mindfulness: Observing your pain without over-identifying with it

    • Practices to Try

  • The Self-Compassion Break: When struggling, place your hand on your heart and say: 'This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself.'
  • Write a Letter: Write to yourself as you would to a struggling friend. What would you say?
  • Change the Voice: Notice your inner critic's tone. Can you make it gentler, like a supportive mentor?

    • Remember: Self-compassion isn't weakness. It's the foundation of resilience. 💜

    Shelja Ghai

    About Shelja Ghai

    Shelja is a counseling psychologist with an M.A. from Amity University. She's passionate about making mental health accessible and creates safe spaces for healing, growth, and self-discovery.

    @psychewithshlzz
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