Communication in Relationships: It's Not What You Say

You've probably heard advice about using 'I feel' statements. But even the perfect words can fall flat if your tone says something different.

Beyond Words

Research suggests that in emotional communication:

7% is the actual words

38% is the tone of voice

55% is body language

The 'Fine' Response: Saying you're fine when you're clearly not

Kitchen Sinking: Bringing up every past issue during one argument

Mind Reading: Expecting your partner to know what you need without saying it

Defensiveness: Immediately defending instead of listening to understand

Pause before responding: Take a breath. Your first reaction isn't always your best.

Seek to understand first: 'Help me understand what you mean by...'

Validate feelings: 'That makes sense that you'd feel...' (even if you disagree)

Take breaks when flooded: It's okay to say 'I need 20 minutes to calm down.'

Connection comes before problem-solving. Make your partner feel heard first. 💜