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Growth6 min readNov 5, 2025

What Your Anger Is Really Trying to Say

Shelja Ghai

Shelja Ghai

M.A. Counseling Psychology

We're often taught that anger is 'bad' and should be suppressed. But anger is actually one of our most important emotions β€” it tells us when something is wrong.

What Anger Really Is

Anger is often a secondary emotion. Underneath it, you might find:

  • Hurt: 'I feel rejected or betrayed'
  • Fear: 'I feel unsafe or out of control'
  • Frustration: 'My needs aren't being met'
  • Injustice: 'This isn't fair'

    • The Message Behind Anger

    Ask yourself:

  • What boundary was crossed?
  • What need isn't being met?
  • What am I afraid of losing?
  • What would I need to feel better?

    • Healthy Expression

  • Pause: Take a breath before reacting
  • Name it: 'I'm feeling angry because...'
  • Find the root: What's underneath the anger?
  • Express constructively: Use 'I' statements, not attacks
  • Take action: Address the underlying issue

    • Anger isn't the enemy. Unexpressed, suppressed anger is. Learn to listen to what it's trying to tell you. πŸ”₯

    Shelja Ghai

    About Shelja Ghai

    Shelja is a counseling psychologist with an M.A. from Amity University. She's passionate about making mental health accessible and creates safe spaces for healing, growth, and self-discovery.

    @psychewithshlzz
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